


Revelations

by Summer Rain (Zeram)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:01:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeram/pseuds/Summer%20Rain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his experiences in the episode Survival, Blair feels like he is a wimp and coward, leading him on a drinking binge that results in several revelations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Revelations

hmmm, I was gonna work on Nightfall but then Anne brought up the drunk Blair Survival missing scene thing so here goes... this is not beta'd and is totally off the cuff 

Disclaimer:No matter how much I may dream, Jim and Blair do not belong to me (g) rather they belong to Pet Fly Productions. I am merely borrowing them for a bit. I promise to return them relatively unharmed. 

## Revelations

(missing scene for Survival)  
by Summer Rain

Jim watched Blair from the corner of his eye again. He was concerned for Blair. Blair was walking so listlessly. He supposed it could be because he was still recovering from the gunshot wound but his instincts told him that it was something more. It wasn't that he was limping it's that his shoulders were slumped almost as if in defeat. 

Well he had watched Blair moping ever since he had gotten out of the hospital and he had had enough of it. He was going to ask Blair tonight exactly what was wrong. 

He waited until they finished dinner before going deciding to speak to Blair. 

"Blair?" 

"Yeah?" Blair answered. Jim winced at the totally listless way in which it was said. 

"I wanted to ask you....are you okay?" 

He could almost feel Blair tensing from where he sat at the table. He watched as Blair leaned on his cane to stand and brought his dishes over to the table. He had begun to think that Blair wasn't going to answer him but then Blair finally spoke. 

"Yeah, I'm fine" Blair said. Jim listened and could hear Blair's accelerated heartbeat. He knew Blair was not "fine" as he claimed. He sighed, Blair had to know that Jim would be able to tell that he was lying so why even try. 

"Look Blair..." 

"No you look Jim! You don't have to worry about me. I'm strong enough to take care of myself" Blair said angrily, his back to Jim. 

"I never said you weren't strong Blair. I'm just concerned about you" Jim said confused trying to understand Blair's anger. 

"Yeah, like when they took me in the airlift?" Blair mumbled under his breath. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jim said bristling at the comment. 

"Nothing man. Just drop it, please." 

"Drop what? Exactly what are you so p.o'd about Blair?" 

"Ughh! I said drop it already can't you just..." Blair began, whirling around. He winced at the pain in his leg brought on by the sudden movement. 

Jim sprang up from where he had been sitting on the couch and came over to Blair. He touched Blair's arm in concern and his eyes narrowed in confusion as Blair sank away from his touch. 

"Don't touch me" Blair hissed through clenched teeth. 

Jim threw his hands into the air in defeat. "Okay fine, I won't touch you. Now would you please sit down and talk to me" 

"No. I-I think I'll go for a walk man" Blair said moving towards the door. 

"A walk? On that leg are you crazy?" Jim asked looking in amazement as Blair opened the door. 

Blair just shook his head and left the loft. He had no where he wanted to go really he just wanted to get out of the loft before Jim began prying him with more questions. 

*Shit. I'm such a mess* he thought to himself and he brought one hand up to run over his hair. The other hand rested on the cane. Before he knew it he was on the sidewalk he headed to his right not caring where he was going as long as it was away from the loft. 

One hour later Jim found himself pacing the loft like a caged animal. He glanced at his watch for what must have been the twentieth time. 

*Damnit, where is that kid? I shouldn't have let him walk out like that but he got me so mad. I still don't know what was going on with him* 

Jim walked over to the balcony doors looking out into the night sky trying to understand the emotions whirling inside of him. He felt this need to protect Blair to soothe away whatever it was that was hurting him. Well there was nothing unusual about that. He had always felt protective of the younger man. He was his Guide after all he had to watch out for him. But it was more than that now he could tell. But what was it that he was feeling? He shook himself out of his thoughts, uncomfortable with the direction they were taking. 

He glanced at his watch again. *Blair, where the hell are you?* he thought. He jumped when he heard the phone ring, maybe it was Blair. He rushed over to the phone and picked it up. 

"Blair?" he said 

"You may have just answered my question" the voice said. It took Jim a few minutes to recognize it as Brad's, a friend of Blair. 

"What?" 

"Jim, I was walking with a couple of buddy's when I saw this dude that looked like it mighta been Blair, I only saw him from the side, in the pub on 5th and Bennett. This dude is weaving, looks like he's plastered. I was wondering if... Brad trailed off. 

"Yeah that could be him. Does he look like he's going anywhere?" 

"No way man, not on his own anyway" 

"Okay, thanks for calling. I'll be right over" Jim said and hung up the phone. 

He left the loft and drove over to the pub all the while wondering how things had gotten to this point. 

He parked the car across the street from the pub. He listened in and heard Blair's voice. Blair was talking softly and Jim had to concentrate to hear him over the other conversations in the pub. 

"..Jim is such a good guy...he'sh my besht friend..." 

Jim felt a warm glow inside of him at his friend's words. He got out of the truck and walked over to the pub, listening to Blair blather on. 

"..he's a strong man, not like (hiccup) me..." 

*Huh? What could he possibly be talking about?* Jim wondered as he reached the sidewalk. 

"..Jim never would have gotten shot..." Blair said to the bartender. The bartender looked sufficiently sympathetic as he poured Blair another drink. 

"Chief, I think you have had enough" Jim said coming up behind Blair, stopping him from raising the glass to his lips and setting it back down on the counter. 

"Jim...we were just talking about you, right..." Blair blinked confusedly at the bartender. 

"Richard" the bartender said, supplying his name. 

"Yeah, Richard. I want you to meet Richard. Jim" Blair said, standing up to face Jim and stumbling. He would have fallen to the ground had Jim not caught him. 

"Okay, Blair time to go home" Jim said. 

"Sure whatever you say Jim" Jim watched as Blair stumbled while trying to walk with the cain. He wasn't comfortable yet using it sober let alone being drunk. 

Jim shook his head and put his arm around Blair's waist to steady him as they walked to the truck. He ignored the tingle he felt at his side as the warmth of Blair's body pressed into him. 

Jim sat Blair in the passenger seat and buckled him in, swatting Blair's hands away as he tried to help. 

He went to the driver's side and hopped in and drove off. By the time they reached the loft Blair was snoring loudly. Jim had to half carry Blair the rest of the way to the apartment but by the time they reached it Blair was almost fully awake. 

Blair walked into the loft and Jim walked in behind him shutting the door. 

Blair sighed, leaning heavily on the cane as he walked further into the apartment. He felt so tired and he just knew Jim was behind him looking at him disapprovingly. Well he disapproved of himself as well so that made two of them. Blair tripped slightly when his foot hit the cane. 

*This damn cane. All because I got shot, that whole ordeal sucked. All I did was slow Jim down when he was trying so hard to look for Simon.* Blair thought to himself. The self pity that had caused him to confide in Richard the bartender now returned full force. He sighed and felt Jim place his hand on his back. 

"Let me help you Blair" 

"No, don't touch me. I'm strong enough to do it on my own" 

"What is with you tonight? First you shout at me for no good reason and then you decide to go get plastered..." Jim began in exasperation. 

Blair turned around to face Jim. 

"I'm not like you Jim! I can't hold it all inside like you can I don't have that inner strength like you do" 

"Can you stop saying that Blair, you are the most resilient person I know." 

"That's bullshit and we both know it Jim. If that was true I wouldn't have gotten shot and I wouldn't need this!" he said throwing the cane at Jim angrily. 

Jim caught the cane as Blair turned and entered his room. He heard a thump from the room and thinking Blair had fallen ran forward calling his name. Just as he got to the door he heard the lock click on Blair's door. 

Blair stood in his room looking around. There were some knick knacks and books all over the place. They were important to him but in his rage that was forgotten. 

"Blair let me in" Jim said loudly. Blair jumped at his voice and groaned inwardly. Why couldn't Jim leave him alone? Didn't he realize what a loser Blair was. Slowing him down in the forest, getting shot and what must Jim have thought when Blair had bumped into him in the forest clutching at him in absolute terror. 

"Go away Jim" he said miserably. 

"I'm not going anywhere Chief and if you don't open this door by the count of ten I'm going to kick it in" Jim said angrily. Enough was enough already. "Let me help you Blair" 

"I don't want your help. Don't need your help. Leave me alone" Each sentence was accompanied by the sound of objects striking the door. 

Jim winced, if he didn't stop Blair he could hurt himself. He listened to make sure Blair was not standing directly behind the door and then gave a powerful kick next to the lock. The door slammed open just as Blair threw a book at the door. Jim brought Blair's cane up out of reflex and was able to bat the book away before it hit him. 

"What are you doing in my room?" Blair bellowed, watching as Jim winced at the volume. 

Jim looked around to see several books and a few knick knacks scattered around the door where they had fallen after being thrown. He looked up in time to see Blair picking up another book to throw at him. He ran forward and grabbed Blair forcing him to drop the book. 

"Let _go_ of me" Blair said struggling against Jim's hold. 

"No" Jim said. Blair was struggling wildly with intermittent gasps at the twinge of pain in his leg. Jim held on, he couldn't let Blair destroy his things because he knew he would regret it in the morning. 

"Dammit Blair I just want to help you...and don't tell me you don't want my help" he added as he saw Blair open his mouth to protest. 

Blair felt himself begging to weaken and lean into Jim. Jim felt it too and let go of his grip on Blair's arms. He brought his arms around to embrace Blair, as much to comfort himself as to comfort Blair. It seemed perfectly natural for one of his hands to begin running soothing motions over Blair's back. 

Blair tensed slightly before giving an inner shrug and letting himself relax against Jim's body. The heavy hand that moved up to brush against his hair giving him a feeling of comfort and something more. He had dreamed of being held in Jim's arms just like this. He felt as if he were in heaven only one more thing would make this perfect. 

Blair pulled away from Jim slightly and cupped Jim's face in his hands and pulled Jim's head down reaching up slightly and bringing his lips to Jim's. The kiss was possessive. It was bold and unmistakable, it was only when Blair felt Jim's arm move to encircle his waist that he came back to his senses. 

Jim felt Blair tense and let go, startled to find that his arm was around Blair's waist. 

Two sets of shocked eyes regarded each other before looking away. Blair tried to back away quickly, almost falling in the process. Jim put out a hand to steady him. This brought their eyes back to one another. 

"Oh shit Jim, I'm sorry...oh god" Blair mumbled trying to apologize. He looked around frantically trying to devise a means of escape should Jim decide to go ballistic on him. He looked back up into Jim's face expecting to see rage, disgust or anger. Instead he saw nothing. There were no emotions on Jim's face and that frightened Blair worse than id Jim had actually gotten angry. 

Jim's brain was just then beginning to function. He had ceased thinking when he Blair had pulled him down to kiss him. Now looking at Blair it was as if his brain were trying to make up for lost time. He felt as if a million thoughts were racing around his head ranging from *Why did he have to go and kiss me?* to * I wish he would do it again* 

All the thoughts quieted down and all he could do was look at Blair mutely. He brought his fingers up to his lips as if he could feel the lingering effects of Blair's lips on his. 

Blair watched as Jim slowly came back to himself. He waited for the angry tirade, the blow or the kick on his ass from when he was kicked out of the apartment. None of those things happened however. Instead Jim stood before him looking dazed. He watched as Jim touched his lips, confusion in his eyes. 

"Jim, I'm sor..." he began again. Jim brought his hand from his own lips and brought them to Blair's lips silencing him. 

"Shhh, let's...let's talk about this tomorrow Blair" Jim said moving his fingers away. 

Blair nodded and Jim helped him get to bed mechanically neither of them speaking. 

Blair lay back on the bed as Jim walked towards the door. 

"Jim.." he began tentatively. 

"I said tomorrow, Chief" Jim said. Blair shuddered at the steely look in Jim's eyes as he turned back briefly to look at him. Jim's eyes were cold and all Blair could do was nod afraid to speak. 

Jim closed the door and Blair turned his face into the pillow to muffle his cries. He lay there like that before finally passing out.  
  


* * *

Jim went to work the next day without waking Blair to go with him. He reasoned that Blair would probably be hung over and in no condition to work but he knew the real reason he didn't wake him up was that he didn't want to spend the day with him. 

Last night had been hell, he had barely gotten any sleep and when he had all that he dreamt about was Blair's kiss. It was a pattern, in the dream Blair would kiss him and he would wake up shaking because in the dream he would always respond to Blair's kiss with one of his own. 

He had felt like screaming, he had felt like going downstairs to Blair's room and shaking him and screaming at him "Why did you do this? Why did you have to go and change things?" but he couldn't. 

What scared him the most out of everything was that he had responded to Blair's possessive kiss. In that moment he could feel himself about to give into Blair. 

*But I'm not like that, I've never fallen for a man. I'm strictly het...aren't I?* Jim frowned and then suddenly pounded the steering wheel "Damn you Blair!" he screamed in the truck as if Blair were there and could hear him. 

He jumped as he heard honking behind him and realized that the light had changed. With shaky hands he turned the steering wheel and headed in the direction of the beach pulling out his cell phone as he did. 

"Banks here" 

"Hey Simon" Jim said quietly. 

"Let me guess, your not coming back from lunch. Your going to call it a day" Simon said. 

"Huh? I mean yeah how did..." 

"I saw you sitting there at your desk. You didn't look so good Jim Also Blair called." 

"Blair?" 

"Yeah, he asked if you were okay." Simon paused as someone stepped into his office before speaking into the phone again "I'll see you tomorrow Jim. Go home and rest" 

"Okay Simon, see ya" Jim said as he clicked off the phone. 

He parked the truck when he got to a secluded stretch of beach. There was a log up on the sand. He went over to it and sat down staring out at the water. 

*Home. That's the last place I want to be right now" he thought to himself. 

He rubbed his hand back over his hair as his mind drifted back to the night before and the way he had responded to Blair. 

*My god, I was kissing him back. But why? I mean is there something? Am I gay? Have I been in denial?* 

Jim felt as if his world had come crashing down around him. With one act Blair had sent him into a tail spin. He thought back over the years he could honestly say that he had never felt an attraction for another man. 

That meant it was just Blair then. Had he fallen in love with Blair? No he shook his head. He would not let his mind wander in that direction. 

*Who am I now? Am I the same person I was two days ago. I feel like I am but how could I be?* 

*Am I gonna try to work something out with Blair?* he had been willing to do just that the night before and that's why he had been so cold to Blair. He had needed to get away from Blair to stop himself from doing something he might regret in the heat of the moment. 

*What exactly does Blair want? Does he love me or did he think I was someone else? Blair why did you have to be drunk when you did that, how do I know that was really you in that kiss?* 

Jim sighed and looked back out over the water, searching for the answers out there when he knew the answers really lay in the loft.  
  


* * *

Blair opened one eye and then the other testing whether he could focus or not. The room only spun for a couple of seconds and then stopped at which point the pain in his head kicked in. 

He stomach rebelled at the thought of getting up but he knew that he had to do it eventually. Today was his day to go to work with Jim. He very slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed gasping as the jarring of his feet hitting the floor traveled up to his injured thigh. 

He somehow made it out of his room. The loft was strangely quiet. He looked over at the clock to see the time. 

*My god, it's 1 p.m. Why didn't Jim wake me?* he thought turning towards the stairs he was all set to storm upstairs when his foot hit the cane slightly. He looked down at it and the memories of the night before came flooding back to him. 

He was suddenly very afraid. Jim had left without him, did that mean Jim didn't want him around anymore? Blair shook his head the action making him slightly queasy. He went back into his room and got some clothes so that he could take a shower. The rest of the afternoon was a big blur as he tried to get back into focus. 

5 p.m saw Blair sitting on the couch looking through the balcony doors. He was feeling more human than when he had woken up. He had been able to hold some food down in his stomach and had been sipping tea to try to calm himself. He wondered idly what he should make for dinner before smiling ruefully. 

*Who am I kidding. Jim won't want dinner, he'll want to know when will be the earliest I can move out* he thought to himself. He felt salty liquid enter his slightly open mouth, it took him just a moment to realize that it was from tears that had begun to run down his face. 

It was surprising that it had taken so long for the realization to set in that when Jim came all it could be was goodbye. He had called Simon asking for him and had learned that Jim had gone for the day. That was several hours ago and Jim had still not come home. 

*God, how could I have been so stupid. I had everything here and I might have just thrown it away, all because I went and got drunk. Maybe I could say I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing...no I can't. It's out there now I'll just have to deal with it* 

He stood up from the sofa to bring the cup of tea over to the sink and began washing it furiously as if the cup were somehow to blame for what had gone on. 

*And what must Jim be thinking? I'm sure he never expected that from me* his hand trembled as he placed the cup on the rack and set the dish towel down. 

He turned around and leaned against the counter and looked around the loft sadly. 

*Jim, I am so sorry. I just went and turned your world upside down didn't I? I guess the best thing to do now is just leave, the last thing you need is me hanging around as a reminder. It was good while it lasted though. Oh man, I know your probably hurting right now. I'm sorry* "so sorry" he finished out loud as he went into his room. With any luck he would be gone before Jim got home and Jim could forget that he had ever met one Blair Sandburg. 

He looked over at the corner of his room at an empty knapsack that was sitting there. That was his "I'm outta here" knapsack. It had been with him for years, it had always been packed because he had always been on the move. It had been perfect for him. He had unpacked it though because he had finally landed somewhere where he had felt comfortable. It had taken about a year and a half of living with Jim before he unpacked the bag. Jim had been passing by as he was doing so and had stood in the doorway of his room. He had explained to Jim once what the bag was for so Jim understood how important it was that Blair was unpacking it. He had stood there as solemn as Blair was and when Blair was done he had given a little smile. They had gone out to dinner afterwards and although it was never stated what the dinner was for it had felt like a homecoming celebration. 

*Here I am packing this damn bag with no one to blame but myself* Blair thought to himself as he opened the bag. 

Jim got out of the truck. He had been sitting there for the past hour trying to figure out what to do. He still didn't know, but something was telling him that he better get up to the loft, so he did. When he got to the door he listened into the loft. He heard Blair's heartbeat first and then after that he heard the other noises. It took him a moment to identify it as that of dresser drawers being opened and closed. He cursed and opened the door, quickly closing it quickly before heading to Blair's room. 

Blair grabbed the last few things he needed and stuffed them into the bag. It wasn't that heavy because over the years he had trained himself to get by on very little. He walked towards his door and then turned around to look at his room one last time, when he turned back around he jumped. Jim was standing in the doorway, jaw clenched, his eyes glittering and looking as if he were ready to pounce. 

"What the fuck do you think your doing?" Jim spat out angrily. 

"Well I was just going to go away for a while...." Blair trailed off afraid to speak. Jim was looking angrier by the second if that were possible. Blair felt trapped, he couldn't go down the fire escape especially not on his bad leg and Jim's large frame blocked the doorway, there was no way around him. Blair wondered for a moment how long it would take the university to report him missing after Jim was done with him. 

"Don't lie to me Blair. That is not your camping bag that's your going away bag. Well I won't allow it" he said ripping the bag from Blair's hand and throwing it against the far wall. 

"Jim..." 

"How dare you" Jim said quietly 

Blair's mouth dropped open at the change of tone. "What.." 

"You kis..did what you did yesterday, you fucking turn my world upside down and then you expect to just leave like that. Why?" 

"I thought it was for the best." 

"For the best?" Jim said incredulously "What's for the best? Me worrying whether your okay. Whether your alive or dead?" Jim shook his head "tell me something Blair that ki...that kiss yesterday, what did it mean to you?" 

"Well, um..." Blair was flustered trying to think of some way to get out of this. Jim's eyes narrowed and he finally moved, stepping forward to grab Blair by the arms. 

"I want the truth, damn you! Tell me the truth, I need to know!" Jim said shaking Blair. 

"Jim I..." Blair said his teeth chattering by being shaken. 

"Tell me!" Jim said shaking him more roughly. 

"Okay, okay. I LOVE YOU!" Blair shouted. "I love you" he whispered as Jim set him back down and turned away. 

Jim remained silent facing the door. Blair reached out to touch his shoulder, his heart feeling like it was going to break when Jim shrugged his hand off. He waited silently behind Jim, wishing for Jim to say something. 

"Blair?" Jim began in a whisper. 

"Yeah, Big Guy?" Blair said quietly. 

"If you love me why were you going to leave me?" 

Blair was taken aback by the question. He walked around Jim slowly so that he was facing him. The eyes that met his were sad and confused, it was then that he resolved to be completely honest with Jim. 

"I'm so sorry Jim" he said, he clenched his jeans to fight the urge to bring his hands up to stroke Jim's face. 

"It's because I love you that I was going to leave. I thought....I thought over time you would come to view it as a drunken episode and eventually you would forget me. If I stayed around I would just be reminding you of what happened." 

Blair held his gaze steady as Jim stared into his eyes as if trying to read the truth in them. Blair had always been told that his eyes were like mirrors to his emotions, in this case it could only help him. If his eyes truly were mirrors then all they could be showing now was the love he felt for Jim and the sadness at any pain he had caused him. 

Blair watched as Jim took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again the sadness was gone but in it's place was a look of wonderment. Blair held his breath as Jim reached out his hand and brushed a finger over Blair's face finally coming to trace over his lips. 

"Blair I could never forget you" he said. He seemed to be mesmerized by the feel of Blair's lips under his fingers. He brought his hand away from Blair face and looked at Blair closely for a moment. 

"Blair I...I think that.." Jim took a deep breath "Can I kiss you, for real this time?" he asked. 

Blair gasped unable to think for a moment, shocked that Jim wanted to kiss him. He finally nodded his head to give his permission. 

Jim leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly over Blair's. In the background he could hear his own heart beat quickening in response to his being scared. 

Blair smiled as Jim leaned back and licked his lips as if tasting Blair there. 

"That was nice" Jim said. He smiled at the small chuckle that escaped from Blair. He became serious again. 

"Chief I think that I...that I love you too, but I don't know what to do. I've never..." Jim stopped, growing flustered. 

"It's okay Jim. There is no rush here, you don't have to be nervous" Blair said moving forward to wrap his arms around Jim's waist in reassurance. He smiled as Jim hugged him back. 

He leaned back slightly and looked up at Jim. Jim leaned down and kissed him. It was not the shy kiss of before. This one was a bit more insistent and it grew in intensity as it progressed. Blair was surprised when he felt Jim's tongue push lightly at the slight part between his lips. He opened his mouth to grant Jim's tongue access and weakened as Jim's tongue came into his mouth seeking to mate with his own. 

He twisted them so that they sat on the bed, still kissing pausing only momentarily to take a breath. Blair felt as Jim stroked his hair and he brought his hands up to run his hand over Jim's chest. He could feel Jim's nipples begin to harden as he pinched through the shirt. Jim was moaning into Blair's mouth, his erection pressing against his pants aching for release. He was almost on sensory overload from the intensity and the newness of what was happening to him. 

Blair brushed his hand casually over the bulge in Jim's pants. Jim was so hard, he knew Jim needed release. He had not taken his medication the previous day getting drunk instead but today he had taken it. Because of it he would not get erect but it did not mean he wouldn't get pleasure from helping Jim to let go. 

Blair moved away from Jim's mouth and began to lick and nip at neck. He put his hand on the button of Jim's jeans to unbutton it when he felt a hand cover his to still it. He looked up to see Jim looking down at him uncertainty warring with desire in his eyes. Blair smiled up at him gently. 

"We won't do anything your not ready for. I just want to love you Jim, let me show you how could it can be" 

Jim kissed him again and then moved his hand away. Blair did not begin unbuttoning the pants yet though. Instead he moved to unbuttoning Jim's shirt, kissing each beat of flesh revealed. When Jim's shirt was off he pushed Jim gently so that he lay down on the bed. Blair leaned forward and swirled his tongue around Jim's nipple. Jim arched up, he was so sensitive there. He was trembling as Blair continued his ministrations moving over to the other nipple and then back again. 

Jim's thoughts were scattered. All he knew was that no one had ever made him feel this good before. He felt Blair undo his jeans and kicked off his shoes and then lifted his hips so that Blair could pull down the pants and the boxers in one motion. 

Jim felt Blair go still for a moment. He opened his eyes, not even remembering closing them, to see Blair looking down at him a look of love shining in his eyes. 

"Your so beautiful Jim" he said. He smiled at the look of surprise on Jim's face and dove back in for a kiss, his hand going to wrap around Jim's erection. 

Jim gasped into Blair's mouth as Blair's hand engulfed him. Blair was stroking him. Hard enough to provide the necessary friction yet in a way that each stroke felt like a caress. He felt his hips begin to move involuntarily as he moved closer and closer to that edge, his moans muffled in Blair's possession of his mouth. 

Almost on instinct Blair knew when Jim was about to orgasm. He bought his head down to Jim's nipple and bit down slightly. Jim gasped at the nip and arched up his mouth opening in a wordless cry as his seed spilled over Blair's hand. 

He shuddered his body still reacting to the orgasm, it took him a moment to realize that Blair was licking him clean. Blair moved up to smile at Jim and then leaned in for a kiss, wanting to share with Jim his own taste. Jim kissed him licking at his lips before sinking into the bed. 

"Blair I..." he stopped and reached up a hand to touch Blair face "Thank you" he said. 

"No thank you Big Guy" Blair said sliding down slightly to wrap his arms around Jim. 

"I love you Jim" he said, smiling as Jim nuzzled under his chin. 

"I love you too" Jim said as he fell asleep, safe in Blair's arms. 

Jim woke the next day to the sound of Blair moving around in the room. He opened his eyes watching as Blair took the final bit of clothes out of his going away bag and put them in the drawer. He watched as Blair left the room and stood to see where Blair was going. 

He looked into the kitchen to see Blair standing in front of the trash can with the knapsack in his hands. Jim moved forward silently and watched as Blair lifted the bag and threw it into the trash with no hesitation. He reached out to Blair's shoulder and turned him around to look into his eyes. He smiled when he saw that there was no look of regret there. 

He held out his arms and Blair moved into them smiling up at Jim as Jim brought his lips down to meet his. There were no regrets in the kiss they shared only the love and the knowledge that they were where they were meant to be. In each other's arms.  
  


* * *

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